Allergic to neediness

Last weekend I was in DC visiting some family for the 4th.  One morning I was jogging on an unfamiliar path.  Suddenly a root reached through the gravel and caught my foot.  I stumbled with windmill arms in slow motion failing to regain stability before I hit the ground.  Sitting there in the dirt examining the damage done to just about every appendage, embarrassed,  I very much wanted the oncoming couple to know that I was okay.  But am I really?  Physically, yes the scabs are healing, but what about my heart?  This incident caused me to reflect on a conversation that I had just had with a friend about my support raising.  A people pleaser, I get burdened by needing the approval of others. Also a first born I am independent by nature, not to mention my all-American tendencies toward self-sufficiency.  These things make asking other people to give me money hard, and reveal a self-centered heart.  But dependency on not only others, but on God to provide is good for me.  My friend and I talked about how we are allergic to neediness.  I like to do things myself and look like I have everything together.  If I can do it myself why do I need God? Needy is exactly where God wants me to be.  Because the truth is whether or not I realize it I can do nothing with out God.

2  Corinthians 12:9-10  “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

I can’t say that I am quite to the point yet of delighting in my weaknesses... I’m still applying the cortizone to my neediness itch.  But I find it so encouraging to know that when I am weak He is right there being strong beside me.  And I delight in being close to Him.