You never realize exactly how much you miss something until it is in front of you again. I have experienced this over and over when first seeing family and friends, when I eat a bowl of ice cream, while sitting on the Carolina coast... the list goes on. In the 2.5 years I have been in Uganda I have taken communion maybe 2 times. And man have I missed it! This summer I have been blessed to attend churches who take communion often. God knew how much I needed to literally eat and be satisfied by what he offers.
Last Sunday I sat in the pew, hand in hand with my grandma, Mimi. Tears seeped out my closed eyelids as I was struck to the heart again with what Jesus has done for me. I’ve been taking communion most of my life. As a kid I remember it being kind of fun to eat in church. As I got older it took on more meaning and became more serious as I understood that we were remembering a broken body and poured out blood. Communion was not necessarily something I always looked forward to. Admitting again that I don’t have what it takes, no amount of rule following, no amount of doing good or even confessing is enough. He had to do it, he had to suffer, he had to die. When I take communion I remember this. But when Jesus told the disciples to “Do this in remembrance of me” I think there was more too it than solemn remembrance.
When I took communion 2 weeks ago at my home church the one serving, looked me right in the eye and said, “Do you believe he loves you?” I heard myself say the obvious “yes” but he responded, “Well he does!” Just in case I had forgotten. And the truth is while I automatically know the answer is yes, I don’t always believe it in my heart. I worry over all the details that have to come together before I go to Kenya. I feel overwhelmed by another transition. I miss my friends in Uganda. Sometimes I feel like a real mess. The truth is I am. Yet, He comes to me, he invites me, to come and commune with him. To sit at his feet and feel the love coming from his eyes, to rest in his arms, to be satisfied by his provision and to get full on Him. To eat and drink and to remember that Yes! He loves me! This He proves over and over each time I remember what he did. And that is something to rejoice over!
